


Skippy the Boxing Kangaroo

by Morninglight (orphan_account)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, OTP Feels, Stuffed Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 08:11:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Morninglight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan Alenko's life is... interesting, to say the least. He's humanity's first Spectre and in love with a famous actress. But he's not quite sure about the stuffed toy kangaroo she keeps in pride of place in her apartment... Sequel to 'Commander Shepard, Space Marine'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skippy the Boxing Kangaroo

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Blame Vorcha_Girl and someone else for this technical sequel to Commander Shepard, Space Marine as it also fulfils a challenge from the MEFFW group on Facebook. Trigger warning for implied child neglect and abuse.

Major Kaidan Alenko’s eyes popped open as he realised that there was something intrinsically wrong with his current situation. _Comfortable bed… Check. Climate control on… Check. Lovely warm lady by my side… No._

He rolled over onto his side and peered into the dim coolness of a Citadel apartment he didn’t actually own. His place was in Tiberius Towers on the Silversun Strip, an enormous and tastefully decorated two and a half level apartment that Admiral David Anderson had sold to him for a song, whereas this was a simple two-roomed flat in the Shin Akiba Ward that could only be described as… eclectic in its interior design. The silvery walls weren’t discreetly panelled in Terran walnut veneer but were covered with bold asari hangings interspersed with rugged krogan tribal art, the metallic floor softened by Japanese tatami mats while the furniture looked suspiciously like salvaged quarian and turian camping equipment. Kaidan had to cringe at the giant stuffed Boxing Kangaroo toy that took pride of place in the lounge/dining room, a sign of Regan’s Australian ancestry.

            _Councillor Shepard, Space Politician,_ he thought with a trace of sardonic humour, rising to his feet to find the least likely woman he’d ever expected to fall in love with. Four years since a former Cerberus operative and an ex-actress with issues tried to kill them both – and he was now more or less the Council’s go-to Spectre while the woman who’d been the star of a kitschy Alliance military drama was now humanity’s representative on said Council. Kaidan _still_ loathed that show, though he could tolerate watching the episodes Regan was in.

            He finally found her sitting at her small dining table surrounded by a sea-blue glow, threading beads onto tiger-tail wire biotically. Kaidan paused to admire her finesse – all he could do was drag a small box across the room when it came to microbiotics – before coming over to join her at the table. The buzz of her biotics against his felt wonderful.

            “I’m meeting with the asari representative from Ilium tomorrow,” Regan explained. “It’s customary to offer a handmade gift when discussing knowledge exchanges.”

            “I didn’t know you made jewellery,” Kaidan rasped, watching lapis lazuli and polished black agate beads be threaded onto the wire as Regan ate some raisin toast.

            “It’s a hobby I picked up after Elysium,” was the soft answer. “Fine control and all that shit.”

            “It’s amazing. _You’re_ amazing.” Kaidan kissed the top of her head, inhaling the scent of freshly washed red-gold strands. These days he thought of her hair in that colour instead of the pale orange it really was.

            “Hey, you’re the one who saved the galaxy, not me.”

            “And you’re the one rebuilding it after I wrecked half of it.” Kaidan smiled down at her. “Even if there’s a kangaroo with boxing gloves in your lounge room.”

            “What have you got against Skippy the Boxing Kangaroo?” Regan asked tartly. “She’s my oldest friend.”

            On closer inspection, Kaidan saw the slightly ragged and worn appearance of Skippy, reminding himself that Regan had a fondness for kitschy things. She’d been Commander Shepard, Space Marine after all. “I’m sorry,” he said hastily. “I didn’t realise she had sentimental value.”

            Regan finished the necklace before answering. “You know I grew up on the streets.”

            Humanity’s first Spectre certainly did. Regan’s life as street kid and then gangbanger made Vega’s life as the son of a red sand addict seem idyllic. Joining the Alliance military-industrial complex had been an improvement for her, much as it had for James. Sometimes he was surprised the two hadn’t hooked up instead of him and Regan.

            _Then again, for all the kitschiness and her autism, Regan’s a pretty intellectual person. Not saying James_ isn’t _, but he’s a grunt and perfectly happy with that._ On finding out he was a candidate for the Spectres, Lieutenant Vega had made it abundantly clear it would be a cold day in hell before he joined the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance forces. He was proud to wear the N7’s red stripe, be the best of the best in the Marines, but he was content being opinionated muscle on Kaidan’s crew.

            Regan, on the other hand, had been doing more than acting during her Commander Shepard years. She’d taken advantage of the Purple Heart educational programme for wounded veterans and studied intergalactic law and social justice. With Miranda Lawson and Helena Blake as advisors, there was precious little she couldn’t handle as humanity’s Councillor.

            _Tevos is the good cop and peacemaker, Sparatus the bad cop and aggressor, Dalatrass Akellah the brains of the operation and Regan the snarky bitch who keeps the others honest,_ Kaidan reflected wryly. At the time, he’d questioned Admiral Hackett’s judgment in quietly arranging Regan’s ascension to the position of Councillor after Udina’s treachery – she was certainly pro-alien and well-known, but despite her qualities, she was an autistic whose only claim to fame was being an actress on a really bad vid series. Not that Kaidan didn’t think she was capable – she’d held her own during the crisis with Brooks and Jane Shepard – but Commander Shepard, Space Politician wasn’t a role he’d expected her to have any skill at.

            He was wrong. Regan’s brutal honesty was a refreshing change from Udina’s political machinations and she knew how to cover her weaknesses – hence Miranda Lawson, who had been instrumental in the defeat of the Illusive Man at London, becoming her social advisor and Helena Blake, the former criminal syndicate owner, becoming her bureaucratic advisor. Her eidetic memory was her autistic ‘quirk’, leading her to recite vast passages of Council law with the same ease Kaidan could wipe out a room full of Cerberus troops. She had found particular loopholes that allowed the ambassadors of the krogan, quarians, volus, hanar and elcor to be raised to a status just below the Council as a sort of Parliament that ratified all laws passed. It had taken some of the power away from the four Council races but had removed some of the hegemony of the first three… and eased much of the lingering concern about humanity’s rapid rise to power.

            “Yeah, I do,” Kaidan agreed, realising he’d gone mentally meandering while she waited for a response.

            “What a bunch of folk don’t understand is that I spent the ages of sixteen to eighteen in witness protection because I’d testified against a prominent member of the Tenth Street Reds branch that were acting out of the lower end of the Brisbane Coast. The guy was turning kids over to people I now realise were Cerberus – probably even some of the kids Jack was stuck with on Pragia.” Regan’s gaze was distant. “I was too old and because I had low-level biotic potential, I wasn’t worth it to Cerberus.”

            Kaidan’s smile was a grim thing. “I bet whoever’s rotting in the Stockade regrets that decision now.”

            Regan’s dark blue eyes glittered. “I still think-“ She shook her head; in a rare show of brutality, she had advocated for the execution of every Cerberus loyalist. Or perhaps it was street justice that inspired her. But the other Councillors had prevailed because they wanted to know exactly how the hell Cerberus had gained control of the heretic geth.

            “Well, of course, I’d broken the gang’s code and had to be hidden for my own protection. Wound up in Sydney of all the bloody places being fostered by an ex-Marine named Matilda.” Regan chuckled richly. “We used to call her ‘Waltzing Matilda’ but it was she who talked me into joining the Army. Got me into Enoggera Barracks back up on the Brisbane Coast when it was time, taught me how to box… and gave me Skippy the Boxing Kangaroo when I joined the Army Cadets at seventeen.”

            Her expression was pensive for a moment. “Gifts in the Reds… Well, it depended on your age and what they wanted you to do. It was better than being a duct rat here, I suppose.”

            Kaidan remembered a duct rat named Mouse, a friend of Thane’s, who sold illegal Shepard VIs. “I knew one who made that VI of you.”

            “Yeah, me too. He goes by the name Thane Shepard now.” Regan’s smile was a quick happy thing. “He’s one of my techies.”

            “I’m glad to see he’s doing well!” Kaidan said happily. He’d always meant to check up on Mouse, but after everything went to hell with Cerberus-

            “So was I when I recruited him,” Regan agreed. “He’s a good man.”

            “I’ll drink to that.” Kaidan examined Skippy and then said, “I thought Skippy was the bush kangaroo?”

            “No one likes a smartarse, Kaidan.” Regan’s tone was affectionate even as she snarked. “I used to click my tongue a lot – a bit of a tic – and so I picked up the nickname Skippy.”

            “Huh.” Kaidan looked at the stuffed toy for a bit longer. “So I guess Matilda gave you Skippy because if you were taking care of her, you were taking care of yourself?”

            “…I’d never seen it like that. I always thought she was telling me to keep on trying as hard as I could. The Boxing Kangaroo is one of Australia’s iconic sporting symbols, after all.”

            “Maybe it was both.” Kaidan smiled a little. “I just thought you were keeping her around because it’s so kitsch and… well… _you_.”

            Regan smirked. “Watching people’s reactions on seeing her is pretty damned amusing, I’ll admit.”

            Kaidan pointed to a reddish smudge on Skippy’s furry head. “What’s that from?”

            The autistic biotic smiled fondly. “When I met Urdnot Bakara during the naming ceremony for her firstborn Mordin, I brought Skippy along and explained her significance. She declared Skippy an honorary godparent for Mordin and that mark is the paint she used during the ceremony.”

            That would be something the shaman once named Eve would do. Bakara was a very wise, very competent woman who balanced out Wrex very nicely and kept the krogan warlord on his toes. Even if Mordin still tried to chew on Kaidan whenever he visited them on Tuchanka.

            “I didn’t know you’d been to Tuchanka,” Kaidan admitted quietly. It was in the years between them meeting during the Cerberus crisis and him returning to the Citadel on a fulltime basis.

            Regan laughed a little. “I visited there and Wrex visited Australia. Do you know that every Australian is considered an honorary krogan now?”

            _That_ didn’t surprise Kaidan in the least. “I suppose when you come from a world where everything is trying to kill you, Australia would probably remind you of home.” Even in the twenty-second century, much of the continent’s interior was undeveloped, returned to almost pristine habitat after the Australian First Peoples had gained control of the lands rightfully theirs.

            Regan grinned. “In Straya, we call thresher maws transport,” she laughed, exaggerating her already thick Australian accent.

            Kaidan laughed, shaking his head. “I thought you rode kangaroos and wrestled dropbears before breakfast.”

            “Pfft. Dropbears don’t exist.”

            “I seem to recall you convincing Garrus and Tali otherwise.”

            Regan smirked. “I was bullshitting them.”

            “Don’t tell them that.” Kaidan matched her smirk and embraced her, resting his chin on her head. Their biotics meshed, a comforting buzz that made the Spectre feel at home, no matter where they were.

            Regan looked up at him with a smile that promised much… until his omnitool rang with a call. Kaidan expressed his opinion of the caller and answered it with a sigh.

            “Javik, you really know how to kill a moment, you know that?” Kaidan told the Prothean, the last of his kind, with a sigh as the four-eyed alien’s head popped up in the holographic display.

            “My apologies,” Javik answered quietly, nodding with respect to Regan. “But there is a krogan attempting to challenge Urdnot Grunt to a head-butting match in the Presidium Commons and I don’t know whether to allow the duel to proceed or tell them to take it elsewhere.”

            “If he’s going up against Grunt, this krogan’s obviously a candidate for the Darwin Awards,” Regan noted dryly.

            “The Darwin Awards?”

            “Earth’s way of rewarding those who remove themselves from the gene pool through their own stupidity,” Kaidan answered quietly.

            “You reward those who prove the cosmic principle correct?” Javik’s voice sounded intrigued. “I suppose it encourages more of the unworthy to… remove themselves without resorting to methods you humans deem… questionable.”

            “Actually, it’s considered somewhat embarrassing. You only win one if you die or render yourself unable to breed,” Kaidan explained dryly.

            “Evolution ceases when stupidity is no longer fatal,” Javik agreed amusedly. “Should I allow this krogan to qualify?”

            “Tell Grunt that if he’s going to break the peace on the Citadel, he can explain his actions to Urdnot Skippy,” Regan told the Prothean with a deadpan expression. “Mordin’s godparent wouldn’t be pleased to see the Champion of Clan Urdnot embarrassing his warlord’s name.”

            Kaidan managed to keep a straight face as Javik nodded. “You make a good point, Councillor Shepard,” he observed. “This idiot krogan doesn’t deserve the honour of being awarded a Darwin Award by the hand of Urdnot Grunt. Tell Urdnot Skippy their words are wise.”

            Kaidan was going to let Vega tell the Prothean that Urdnot Skippy was a stuffed toy. Or maybe Jack – someone tough enough to survive Javik’s lack of humour.

            “I will,” Regan promised, still deadpan, as Javik bowed slightly and ended the call.

            Humanity’s first Spectre promptly fell on his ass laughing his head off. Only in his world could an actress from a really bad military drama become humanity’s representative on the Council and the ‘words’ of a stuffed toy kangaroo be taken seriously by a Prothean.

            But when he looked in Regan’s eyes, he wouldn’t have it any other way.   


End file.
